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Bill Lumbergh

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FYI [27 Jun 2006|12:22am]
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Da da da da
da da da da,
Happy birthday to me.

Yeah.... um, I'll be out on Tuesday and Wednesday, so if you want to bring me a cake or some cookies, do it on Thursday. Yeah. Great.
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Happy birthday to me! [27 Jun 2005|12:10am]
Yeah. Hi. Just a quick note to remind you that even though it's my birthday, we're not celebrating until tomorrow. Yeah. I took Monday off so if you're bringing cake, bring it in on Tuesday. Yeah.
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[17 May 2005|01:19pm]
Would the gentleman who sang the heart-wrenching karaoke rendition of Love Me Tender at Allan's going away party please stop by my office sometime this afternoon. I have something for him.
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The Ring 2 [22 Mar 2005|02:42pm]
Yeah, hi, some of you may have seen my big screen debut last weekend in The Ring 2. Yeah. Uh, that was really fun. I'm not, you know, an experienced actor, but yeah, I think I did a really good job. Mmm hmmm.

Good coffee today.
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Mess in the bathroom [18 Nov 2004|12:46pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

Yeah. Hi. It's Bill. Great.

Look, um, this is like, an open letter to whomever it is that's been messing up the second floor men's bathroom with what appears to be, you know. Pistachio pudding and Spiderman comics. Yeah. It's been going on for more than a week now, and the cleaning crew isn't happy about it. Also, I tracked pudding all over the board room this morning. So if you could, you know, stop whatever it is you're doing in there, that would be great. Yeah.

Oh, and we're out of fresh coffee. I bought the last bag so if one of you could, you know, buy some and bring it in tomorrow, that would be great. Yeah.

I like Hazelnut, by the way.


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[19 Jul 2004|02:08pm]
Yeah. Hi. As many of you know, we've been having periodic visits from Bob and Bob, the efficiency experts that we hired a few of years ago. Mmmm hmmm. Yeah, ah, last time they were here we got to talking about leisure activities, and I found out that they like, you know, Pogs and Slammers. Yeah. I thought I was the only one.

Well I brought in my collection of Spice Girls Pogs to show them, and they've disappeared from my desk. Brian thinks Peter took them, but Milton's been a little squirrlier than usual today. Yeah. I'm going to have to.... talk to that guy. Yeah.
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Tomorrow's special day is announced. Yeah. [10 Jun 2004|02:59pm]
Yeah, hi... Well, upper management and I had a talk. Yeah. Uh... only two of you voted and you didn't even agree, so we've decided to make tomorrow a Dress Like Milton Day. So, you know. If you all want to... wear a white shirt and a tie... And also some slacks, that would be great. Yeah.

Oh, and if anybody sees Peter, would you send him down to my office, please? Yeah. Jennifer from Customer Service said she saw him peeing in the corner. Normally this kind of behavior would garner you a strict reprimand, but um... apparently Peter didn't get the memo about the changes in the TPS reports, and I think he might be stressing out. Yeah... I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for awhile.

Oh, has anybody seen my stapler?
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Call off the man hunt [08 Jun 2004|01:56pm]
Yeah, hi. This is Bill again. Well, the IT department looked into our little hacker problem, and it looks like I hacked my own livejournal yesterday morning while I was all hopped up on cocai-- ah.... coffee. So you if you could just... disregard what I said yesterday about turning in the perpetrator, that would be great. Yeah.

Yeah, um, Friday also marks our fifth year without being fined by OSHA, so we're going to have a special day on Friday. I wanted a pizza party, but the budget wouldn't allow it. Yeah... instead we're going to let you vote on what you want to do. Unfortunately, the budget doesn't allow for a paid livejournal account either, so I can't set up a real livejournal poll. So instead, if you could, you know... leave a comment telling me what kind of special day you want on Friday, that would be great. Yeah. Here are some ideas I came up with off the top of my head, but feel free to add your own suggestion. Entries must be postmarked no later than 9:30 AM on Thursday, so be sure to get your vote in soon. I know I will. Yeah.
  • Jeans Day

  • No Pants Day

  • Hawaiian Shirt Day

  • Chain-Mail Bikini Day

  • No Lunchbreak Day

  • Make A Hat Out Of Pantyhose Day

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[07 Jun 2004|01:06pm]
Hi... what's happening? Great... Yeah, this is Bill Lumbergh, and I just wanted to touch base with all of you. Yeah... Um, somebody named Sir Fuglin hacked my livejournal this morning. Yeah. We have the IT guys looking into it, but does anybody know who this Sir Fuglin is? If you could come forward, that would be great. Yeah.
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[07 Jun 2004|09:27am]
[ mood | horny ]

lollolo!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y0u are lame l11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ BILL LUmBERGH, sIR FUGLIN OWNZ J00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ sir fuglin is teh r0x0z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ u teh sux0rz~ lolololololololo.... bow down befor3 my l33tness!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ lololololollolololl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~

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Yeah, I'm Bill Lumbergh [18 Oct 2003|06:19pm]

You are Bill Lumbergh.

Oooooh.. yeah. No one likes you. If you could
just go ahead and make sure you step in front
of a large moving bus, that would be greeeeeat.

Which Office Space Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[27 Nov 2002|10:27pm]
Yeah hi...
So... someone says that my "Twin Brother" has been seen in this movie called "One Hour Photo" I would just like to clear this up. I do not have a twin brother, nor do I know who this is. He has obviously has gotten plastic surgery done to look like me. Yeah. Although for some reason, he works with my uncle Sal. Yeah...
Happy Turkey day, you'll have to come in 3 hours early on friday.
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*scratch scratch*..ahhh.... Oh! yeah hi.... [06 Sep 2002|10:05pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Hi everyone...

well since this nasty rash has finally cleared up and I'm now back to work, you all should know that I am NOT , in fact, contagious. I don't know who sent that memo around about me have open, pus-oozing sores , but ummmm I assure you that is bogus. so...yeah..please disreagard that. thanks.

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Due to the stock market tumble... [23 Jul 2002|10:37pm]
Yeah Hi... Due to the Nasdaq and Dow Jones plummet we're, we're gonna have to uh do some massive lay offs, pay cuts and we're gonna have to stop the 401k plans so that the presidents upstairs can keep rolling in piles of money while naked and lubed up with their young oriental pre-pubecent male escorts, so, you'll just have to uh get back to work.

Good Coffee today, its a bit nutty.
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Spiderman. [03 May 2002|05:04pm]

so, in honor of Spiderman coming out this evening, I've decided that all employees can, ummm, go ahead and wear they're spiderman PJ's to work for the next week. yeahh....please note, it's Spiderman PJ's ONLY...no Batman, or Superman please. thanks..yeah.
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[15 Apr 2002|09:42pm]
Yeah... Hi.

I'd just like to make it known you CAN'T Wear shorts in the office place even though its near summer.

And if you could... would you move your desk to the hottest area in the building-- the boiler room so... if you could just do that, thanks. Yeah...
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Mmmmmm...yeahh [03 Apr 2002|04:29pm]
yeah hi...say, i was wondering, have we changed coffee brands lately?? cuz...uh...this coffee tastes....*sip*...tastes like poop. yeah. I was just wondering, that's all.
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[12 Mar 2002|12:44pm]
Uh Yeah...hi... I'd just like to comment that I've started the new order of the fist... all hail dictator for life Bill Lumbergh... all child bearers shall report to my office right away. And all the fledgling men shall do the slave work... Follow me and I shall lead us unto the god demoral, creator of the Fist of Power. Follow the stars and your destiny will show you that I, am the all powerful and no one is the mightier.

HAIL LUMBURGH! ....Yeah...

so... if you could just get those TPS reports done... I'll fax you a memo...
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umm... [26 Feb 2002|12:02pm]
Yeah Hi..it's me again. Say, did you know that Friday will be Hawaiian shirt day? Yeah..so if you'd like to, go ahead and wear a..uh...a Hawaiian shirt. Mmmmmmkay? Great.
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[19 Feb 2002|03:25pm]
Yeah... Hi.... I have a problem, yeah... I sort of ran over a little old lady, yeah, she's not breathing. Yeah uh... I think I'm going to have to store the corpse in Milton's cubicle yeah... that's it, Milton did it yeah...

yeah... maybe this should be a "friends only" entry, yeah that's right I have no friends yeah...
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